i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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