none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
