32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
