So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
