I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
