i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
