I've blown a few things in my day
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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