Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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