Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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