do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
