also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your cock deserves a montage
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
