he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
