Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
