so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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