found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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