This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
NoShamevember. You game?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
