im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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