Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
