she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
