So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
