Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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