i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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