I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
