I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
