Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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