Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
