I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
