Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
me + whiskey = a bad person
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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