We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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