only if we run a train.
done.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
