So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
