is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
