you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
