Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
