Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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