3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
