i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
