Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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