Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
