Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
