Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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