C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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