You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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