It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
