Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
