at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
