My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
