well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
PANTIES FOUND
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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