dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
