names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
