just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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