dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
