wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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