lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
