hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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