you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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