Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
