fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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