there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
