My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
PANTIES FOUND
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
