have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize