I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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